And in another instalment of ruining my chances of ever writing for a reputable title: “7 clever ways to trick yourself in to eating more veggies” as seen on sportluxe.com. I mean if you can trick yourself in to eating veggies in a meal you prepared – we got more serious issues here. Let’s discuss shall we:
1. Drink your greens
I can’t think of anything that makes me want to puke more than the thought of drinking guacamole. Hopefully the next 6 “tricks” are more solid so to speak.
2. Get creative with cauliflower
I’ve made pizza with a cauliflower base on more than one occasion. And look, it’s not terrible – Structurally unsound, yes – but terrible tasting, no (particularly as my ratio of cauliflower:cheese is about equal). But I’m sorry – you can’t “sneak” cauliflower in to a pizza base as much as I can “sneak” on to the Victoria’s Secret catwalk.
And if you laughed a little too hard at that analogy. Consider me offended.
3. Use them as noodles
Remember when Zoodlers were all the rage? That twisty-fucken-tool-thing that transformed zucchini in to strands of imposter pasta? Yeah I got sucked in too. My Zoodler-twisty-fucken-tool-thing made the zucchini noodles fine, but left the remanent zucchini looking…flaccid. It made me uncomfortable. So now I’m back to pasta. Pasta never makes me uncomfortable.
4. Get saucy
I’m just going to leave this here, but seriously if you are “tricked” by the following, you actually need to get your taste-buds evaluated by a professional:
“Cauliflower is the perfect substitute for cream”
Is it tho?
5. Bake with them
The extent of my experience here was a way too complicated and quite frankly, sloppy Beetroot Chocolate Cake.
Pass.
6. Go wild with garlic
Now this I can get on board with: take shit vegetables and disguise taste in garlic and butter.
7. Make chips with them
It took to the end of this fucken list to come up with the best suggestion of all.
Yes I will have a fries with that.
Wretched 