The good. The bad. And the fucking worst gifts on the planet thanks to: https://sporteluxe.com/the-ultimate-guide-to-wellness-stocking-stuffers-at-every-price-point/
THE GOOD
- Calivovle Mint Truffles
You had me at dark-chocolate. Then lost me at features spirit enhancing ashwagandha, energizing maca, and full spectrum, pure American hemp to rejuvenate both mind and muscle.
But chocolate. Sooooo ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
- What Do You Meme – Game
Inappropriate, offensive, racist, sexist. Xmas day fun for the entire family.
THE BAD
- Health Lab Plant-Based Protein Ball
I’m sorry – but if you opened a gift on Xmas morning and it was a protein ball, would you not be a tad fucking disappointed?
- CAP Beauty The Neat Mini Matcha Stick Box
I would receive this and genuinely not know what the fuck is was: “remind someone how matcha you love them with these on-the-go organic ceremonial-grade green tea matcha packets” Cool.
- Dr. Brite Teeth Whitening Pen
Nothing says the Seasons Greetings like a nod to your shit yellow smile.
- Vitajewel Wellness Gem Water Bottle
First of all this is a $92 water bottle. Second of all there are rocks in it. Third of all it’s a $92 water bottle.
“Hydrate in style. This blend of amethyst, rose quartz, and clear quartz is said to stimulate and soothe the mind and emotions, foster tranquillity, and support health and radiant skin with every infused sip”.
THE WORST FUCKING GIFTS ON THE PLANET
- Bytox Hangover Patch
What a miserable present…and if someone thinks it’s a good idea to gift you a Hangover Patch – you are literally one step away from an intervention.
- Sage + Crystal Kit
Thank you for thinking of my demons on this festive day and the rocks and herbs that may deter them.
- Sigmatic Hot Cacao + Reishi Mushroom Mix
You’ve wellness-fucked-up all my favourite drinks and now you’re putting mushrooms in my hot-chocolate?? Shove your shit present up your wellness- sphincter.
Merry Christmas all!
Wretched 