Fitness loves a good buzz word when it comes to selling workouts: the fastest, the most effective, the newest…and for some reason, we seem to be drawn to these words like a vegan to a no-bake-zucchini-cacao-spirulina-yum-yum-slice.
But if you think about it even for 3 seconds you will find that the fastest is still at least 30-minutes, the most effective requires white-hot-lung-combusting efforts and the newest hasn’t even been proven – and will probably kill you. And that a no-bake-zucchini-cacao-spirulina-yum-yum-slice? That’s totally not a thing.
How about these far more marketable fitness terms:
The Fun-est
If a workout was being sold as The Most Fun – would you, or would you not, comply to your workout regime more times than not? Imagine getting actual enjoyment from your session as opposed to the traditional scorching lungs, hot knives in joints and ferocious muscle soreness? This only applies to normal people. There are those out there with “sicko person enjoyment”. These are people who actually enjoy near death experiences in the name of fitness.
The Least Sweaty
I would sign a life-time membership to anyone who could offer me a workout that promised no sweat – mostly because I’m sick of (and not very good at) blow drying and straightening my hair due to the fact that 0.1% humidity and 1ml of sweat makes me look like I have a lions mane for hair… and not the majestic flowing kind. The knotty, find small animals nesting in, steel wool-esque kind.
The Most Enthralling
Imagine your session was so damn interesting – you didn’t even realise you were working out and the time passed before you knew it. I’m going to be honest here and admit I can’t even fathom what would be so interesting that somehow you have managed to miss your vital organs shutting down; but I’m sure it’s out there.
Wretched 