You will be surprised. For all the wrong reasons.
F45 won’t have started for another 4 years, Yoga was around 4,996 years, and activewear was just clothes you wore to the gym.
Pop quiz: are these headlines from popular fitness publications penned in 2009 or 2019:
- Sculpt a tight butt and flat abs in minutes a day
- Flat belly foods
- Shrink your belly
Actually – “tight butt” is a dead giveaway: tight butts were so 2009. 2019 is about #booty. Keep up please.
What about these male-centric headlines:
- Melt fat build muscle
- Six-pack abs
- Gain muscle lose kilos
I forgot which era I plucked these ones from. Could be any really. For the record they actually are from 2009, but you gotta agree that they would slot rather comfortably in to 2019. Let’s also take a moment to appreciate the fact that guys couldn’t be fucked coming up with something different in a decade. Keep up boys! Us girls have gone from tight-butt, to big butt; from skinny, to strong is the new skinny.
Keeps it interesting one supposes.
Speaking of interesting/disturbing – can we please applaud our 2009 selves for educated and experienced fitness professionals being the top fitness trend according to the American College of Sports Medicine. In 2019, educated and experienced fitness professionals sits on the list at number 6.
Christ.
Here’s something a little more fun – the top workout songs. According to Spotify, the current top songs to workout to include God’s Plan by Drake, I Like It by Cardi B and Til I Collapse by Eminem (seems appropriate). 2009 workout songs were a little harder to come by (Spotify didn’t have their shit together a decade ago) – but according to POPSUGAR Fitness, it seems legit that we were distracting ourselves from dying by cranking up: 3 by Britney Spears, Boom Boom Pow by Black Eyed Peas and Tik Tok by Kesha.
Correct me if I’m wrong – but did the term activewear only become popular after this ACTIVEWEAR YouTube clip? “Doing literally nothing in my activewear”. Because I’m sure in 2009 I was “doing literally nothing” in my gym clothes. Also I’m sure I wasn’t paying $180 for a pair of tights in 2009 (nor was I seeing anyone’s under-butt hanging out the bottom of shorts).
I’m going on pure recollection for this next 10 year memory – so correct me if I’m wrong (and honestly, the odds are in your favour here), but let’s talk: influencers. Fitness influencers. In 2009 if you asked me to name some household names in fitness, I might have said Michelle Bridges, the rest of The Biggest Loser trainers and maybe Jane Fonda because I couldn’t think of anyone else. In fact in 2009, I’m pretty sure the word influencer wasn’t even used in the way we use it today. The top hit in a Google search for Australian fitness influencers displayed “7 Australian Fitness Influencers you need to follow right now”. I recognised 2 of them. And one of them was Michelle Bridges.
Maybe I’m just old.
I guess over the 10-years from 2009, the ease at which we can promote ourselves as anything we want on social media (coupled with social media being our platform of choice to obtain information) means if you are hot/famous with a tonne of followers and you imply you are a fitness influencer, well then, a fitness influencer you are. In 2009 at least you needed to be qualified.
What a time to be alive.
Wretched 