As a fitness professional I feel like I should have a good grasp of *most* fitness related things. I don’t.
I have no fucking idea what half the equipment is on the gym floor either
Pull that pin, adjust this height, put your hands here, place your feet there, sit this way – but not there! The gym floor can be a daunting place even for the most experienced – it seems that every other week some kind of contraption with pulleys, pins and parts to get your fingers caught appears on the gym floor and I have no idea where to even start. So I don’t. I just squat.
I shit myself too
Not in general everyday life – I mean if I’m trying something new at the gym. Even though the gym environment is my second, third and fourth home, I still get apprehensive trying something new. I started CrossFit 3 years ago, and when I first walked in I shit myself. I didn’t even know where to stand much less what an EMOM or an AMRAP was.
For the record EMOM = Every Minute On the Minute. AMRAP: As Many Rounds As Possible.
I’m not a dietitian. I’m not a physio
This one – I don’t even care that I don’t know as both these professions require actual qualifications of which I do not possess, nor care to possess. So if you ask me what you should eat for breakfast for weight loss, don’t be surprised if the response is diet coke. But a squat? Want me to teach you to squat? I can teach you that in 17-million different ways. Oh – and before you ask, no, I have no idea what is wrong with your shoulder or your knee.
What I CAN do as a fitness professional
I mean…I can do some things:
Communicate how to perform an exercise in a way you understand. And if you don’t understand? I will teach you another way. And another way. I will use whatever communication method you need to help you execute the exercise – I will use sight, sound, touch, smell and interpretive dance if I have to.
I can motivate you to work harder than you would on your own in a way that’s not screaming in your face army style. But if that’s how you’re motivated – then that’s cool – I can do that. Just know I spit when I talk.
Wondering if I’ve prescribed burpess in your session because I’m sadistic and enjoy seeing people you pain? Yes. Can I justify why you are doing burpees based on your fitness goals? Also yes. If your trainer can’t justify your program – they have basically just pulled a random workout from Instagram.
Wretched 